


Some.

by AHS



Category: Actor RPF, Queer as Folk (US) RPF
Genre: BTF, Dialogue-Only, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-29
Updated: 2008-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-13 01:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/131302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHS/pseuds/AHS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dialogue-only.  Randy is updating his BTF bio.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I made this up. Well, not entirely.

“Hey.”

“Gale?”

“ _Yes,_ Rand?”

“I’m, uh… updating my theatre bio… tweaking it for _Godot_ …”

“Yeah? How’s that going?”

“Not so great. I don’t-… Oh, rehearsals? Really good. Exciting. Fucking exhausting, but in a good way.”

“What did you think I meant?”

“The bio… I took one of the old versions and expanded the BTF credits part… added a little to the tAB part…”

“Right…”

“Well, I only have so much room, so I tried taking some other stuff out, and I think it looks better.”

“Ha! Let me guess…”

“No. I mean, not _just_ that… I left off _Bang Bang You’re Dead_ , too.” 

“Smooth. No one will suspect your all-consuming shame for, you know… that show we were on.”

“I’m not ashamed! I’m just… *sigh*… sick of it? And maybe I have things I’m prouder of, but that’s not…”

“What do you think, Rand? If you leave it off, you’ll eventually confuse the fans into thinking you’re not you, and they’ll leave you alone?”

“…No.”

“You know what these people think about us?”

“ _Yes_ … I thought we weren’t going to talk about that anymore.”

“Not _that_. I mean what they think of you and what they think of me.”

“Have you been Googling yourself again?”

“Shut up. Point is, they think I’m some doobie-rolling recluse, hiding from fans like a fucking vampire from the sun, who appears to the world occasionally when he sells out long enough to get paid.”

*teasing laugh* “Not _entirely_ inaccurate.”

“And you’re worse.”

“What?”

“You’re the brilliantly talented little snot who believes nothing outside the _thea-tah_ qualifies as art or acting, and spits on where he came from every chance he gets… who wants people to see his plays but then resents them for having heard of him.”

“……”

“Still there?”

“Gale, you know that’s not true… right?”

“Except ‘brilliantly talented.’”

“Thank you.”

“… _’little snot.’_ ”

“And these are our _fans_??”

“That’s the thing. They may think that, they may pick you apart, but they also fucking love you. Us, I guess.”

“See? That scares me.”

“What? It’s unconditional!”

“It’s a little psychotic.”

“Yeah, that too.”

“They think I’m spitting on them? ‘Cause I may not always want to deal with them, but I’m not-… I do appreciate them. And… the show.”

“I know you do.”

“Still don’t wanna put it in here.” *whining*

“I know you don’t.”

“But you think I should.”

“Well, fuck, it’s not like you were on _Saved By The Bell_.”

“There! That illustrates my concern, right there!”

“ _Saved By The Bell??_ ”

“The danger of never getting past one character. Christ, look what’s happened to Screech. That‘s what I’m trying to avoid.”

“Wha-? I can’t believe you’re even fucking making me say the following stupid sentence… You are not gonna end up like _Screech_. Although, if you decide to go into porn, please let me know.”

“I did that already. Don’t you remember? You were there.”

*laugh, shaking head* “There you go again.”

“I’m kidding, basically… So, what do I do?”

“I have to say I love the fact that you’ve racked up so many credits now, you can leave it off and your bio’s still full.”

“Me, too.”

“But if you put it down, think of it this way. Either you’re saying, “Look at this good work I did,” because you really did… or you’re saying, “Look how fucking far I’ve come.”

“…That’s true. So, you’re saying get over myself and add it back, oh wise one?”

“No. It pretty much remains the fucking crown jewel of _my_ bio, but that’s got nothing to do with you. You do what you want. You‘ve been doing play after play, non-stop, working hard, and if that‘s all you want people to see, you‘ve earned that right.”

“Might as well run with the snotty theatre persona, right? Apparently it’s what people expect… Gale?”

*muffled laughter* “Hehe, sorry.”

“What are you doing?”

“Kinda watching _Austin Powers_.”

“And you still took my call? I’m honored.” *sarcasm*

“Always cracks me up… ‘ _Sex: Yes, please!_ ’”

“…Oh my God. That’s it.”

“Hahaha… Huh? You say something?”

“You’re a genius, Gale.”

“Nah. Mike Myers, now he’s a fucking genius.”

“Absolutely. Thank him for me.”

“For?”

“I just figured out exactly how my bio should read.”

*****

(after the play’s debuted)

“’Television: _Some._ ’”

“……”

“That is pretty fucking brilliant, Rand.”

“It’s truthful! And it’s… I don’t know, something different.”

“Very wink-wink. I like it.”

“Thank you.”

“Although, look at respected veteran actor David Schramm, proudly displaying his eight seasons on NBC’s _Wings._ ”

“I guess he’s a better man than I.”

“All these theatre actors and actresses, with their _All My Children_ , and their… wow, ALL the _Law & Order_s, and… no way! _The Equalizer_!”

“Yes, yes, I get it. Anything else?”

“Yeah. Sleep for you.”

“Sleep? I had a nap this afternoon. You came all this way… *yawn*… I want…”

“You’re dragging into the ground. Look at you. If you were a cheerleader, you couldn’t lift the letters to spell ‘fuck,’ never mind do it.”

“If I were a _cheerleader_?”

“Don‘t ask me to make sense. Point is, you’re tired. You just… I don’t know how the fuck you did all that up there, Rand.”

“Acting?” *climbing into bed*

“You’re incredible.” *joining*

“Stop it or I may have to fuck you in my sleep.”

“I just might let you.”

“You know I’ll love that stupid show forever ‘cause it gave me you, right?”

“Yeah, Rand, I know.”  


 

**Author's Note:**

> That is really from Randy Harrison's 2008 BTF bio :) He cracks me up, lol.


End file.
